Almost a Love Story

I am a hopeless romantic person. I do believe in fairy tales where the prince will live happily ever after with his princess. I believe in God’s timing in finding the one destined for us. The one who will journey with us for the rest of our life.

For almost 3 years, I am praying for a lady that I want to be with and get married to. I prepared myself to be the best man for her. I undergo all the process just to be purified and be sure of what I am feeling. The journey is a roller coaster ride, it is a mixture of joy and sadness, of closeness and awkwardness.

But I never imagine myself that I will be put in a situation where everything that I’ve prayed for will not be answered the way I wanted. God told me that “She’s not the One” and it breaks me into pieces. How come that God will not grant something I desired for a long time already. There’s a feeling inside of me that I’ve just waited in vain. That everything was put into waste. Despite of this heartbreak, God opened me into His grace again, to understand what I cant comprehend, to feel the comfort in His great plans for me.

God revealed to me that everything I am experiencing is His redirection to me. The journey teach me to become a better man and to handle things not just based on emotion but on God’s willing. It allows me to be patient in unfolding His plans for me. I realized also that in pursuing a relationship, we must improve ourselves to be a better person for him/her but not to the point you are losing your identity. When we fall in love with someone, we must also accept his/her flaws. Our relationship must not focused on our ideal standards rather on how you can grow together.

At the end of the day, I know that I am at peace in putting a period to our almost love story. I have to let you go even if you are not mine at the first place. I have to move on if there’s no us. I have to give an ending to the story that was never started. I have to accept that you are not the Princess in the fairy tale that God has written for me.

I don’t care if I have to start all over again in finding and praying for the princess that God has prepared for me. I would always take the risk just to have a happily ever after with the lady that I am destined to. 

July 4, 2017 by johnvicpogi

Are you a Second Choice?

Given a chance, would you like to be a second choice? Many of us wants to be the first choice in everything. If you are in a competition, you want to be the champion. If you are in the school, who would have not want to be the first honor. If you are in a relationship, who would want to be the second choice of his/her partner? Being a first choice give us a lot of advantage because in our society, the first choice would always be the best among the rest, the creme of the crop, the greatest one.However, is there something wrong from being the second choice?

Being the second choice means you are great person but you will sometimes feel that way. You are the person who is always next to chosen one. You will be the second one to be called, texted and updated. You are not the last but you are not also the first and you will never feel how it is like to be because being the second choice have its own feeling. You will never feel like you are always good enough and there’s something more that you need to prove. When you are a second choice, you will always feels like you are in a competition and you need to win but ended up not the winner.

I could remember one of my conversation with my training head in the missionary work, telling him that I always feel inferior with other people because I always feel that I am just a second choice in all the opportunities that I have. It feels like I am just existing because the first choice decline or rejected the opportunities that he should have. It feels like there’s no other choice that’s why I am chosen.

I grew up with a thinking that I should always excel in everything that I am doing but ended up that there is someone who is always better than me.  I did not graduate valedictorian in elementary because I ended up being the salutatorian. I am being tapped always in a position in an organization just to replace an inactive one. Finding job was quite difficult because I did not graduate with latin honors due to a failing grade.

My training head told me that there’s nothing wrong being the second choice. It is just a matter of our perspective in life. Being second doesn’t mean that you are a loser because in fact you are still a winner. Being second means there’s more opportunity for you to make yourself to be a better version. Being second doesn’t mean you are less blessed than others because you know that you are indeed loved by the Lord.

Whenever you feel inferior because you are just a second choice, remember these three things:

1. There’s no first or second choice in God’s vocabulary. You are His only choice. You are being called specifically by name. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, He puts you there for a purpose. You are there to make His love be felt by the people that surrounds you. Never doubt His plans for you because all of these are for your welfare.
2. In the eyes of the Lord, we are all equal. We are all His sons and daughters and we are loved by Him equally. There’s no need to get jealous of the things that we don’t have because we know that He will give it in His time.
3. Don’t compare yourself to others. The greatest competitor that we should have is yourself. We should always aim to improve ourselves until we reach our goals. Never compare yourself to others’ accomplishments and be confident that you can also do great things.

You are deeply loved and wonderfully made by the Lord. Being a second choice is a grace from the Lord. You are not just a BACKUP PLAN but you are the ENTRUSTED ONE. You are not a LOSER but you are also a WINNER. 

 

 

May 18, 2017May 18, 2017 by johnvicpogi

5 Reasons why I’m still Single

At the age of 27, some are asking why I am still not in a relationship. It’s been 4 years since my former girlfriend and I broke up. The relationship that we had is toxic and unhealthy for the both of us. We decided to choose the path separate from each other’s life. Sometimes, I am wondering what goes wrong with our relationship. Is it the result of rushing everything just to find the one? Or is it God’s will so He can lead me to the right girl He prepared for me.

As the years passed by, the Lord continue to mold me to be the better version of myself. While I’m waiting, I improve myself not to be perfect but to be the man that she deserves. Now, allow me to share the 5 reasons why I am still single.

1. There is a grace in waiting. In waiting, you are being purified with your intentions. In waiting, God will reveal Himself to you first before He reveal the right girl for you. The grace of waiting is having a deep relation first with the Lord before being intimate to others.
2. God’s love is sufficient, so I will not be frustrated in having a girlfriend. I know in myself that God’s love is enough for me to survive everyday. It is good to know that before looking for love, God already gave it to us freely and wholly.
3. Putting first thing first. Knowing our priorities is very vital before entering a relationship. Before we will be able to give the best love that she deserves, we should be able to accomplish our prior commitments. She deserves a wholehearted man that can love her fully without any hesitation. If you still have any unsettled priorities, don’t pursue her and finish first the unresolved business.
4. Time is nothing when you know what you deserve. How long can you wait for her? I believe that there’s no need to rush when it comes to love. If you know you deserve a princess, it will not matter to you how long will it take you just to find her.
5. I know the finish line will be worth it.  We know that every journey we take, the finish line will always be worth it. Waiting for her is just a little sacrifice that the Lord is asking from us. While we are waiting, rest assured that He is wrapping the best gift that we could received in the finish line and this is the woman that we will be living with the rest of our life.

Being single should not be a big issue to us. Being single means waiting for the right time that God has scheduled to meet our Mr./Ms. right. There’s no need to be worried if you are still not in a relationship right now. We are assured by God’s love that His plans will always be greater than us and it will always be beautiful.

May 16, 2017May 17, 2017 by johnvicpogi

The Day I said I Love You

I love you!

I’m still waiting for the right time before I could say these words to you. I know it already took long before I could actually tell it to you but I know it will be worth the wait.

Sometimes, I wonder what hinders me of telling you how special you are to me. I am thinking if my feelings and intentions are true and pure, why I can’t just easily confess it to you. As the days pass by waiting and purifying my intentions, I have found the reasons why.

1. When I will say I love you, I know that I am the Best Man you deserved to have. As I wait, I’ll make sure that I am doing all the effort to be the best version of myself. I know that you deserve a man who can love you wholeheartedly and will love you even your flaws.
2. A pure and real love can wait for God’s perfect timing. I never mind waiting too long for you, because I am assured that everything will fall into God’s perfect plan for us. There’s no need to rush love. Why settle for a temporary relationship if God can give your forever.
3. Love is not a competition where you will always aim to finish first. Some people thinks that finding love is a marathon where you will always want to get the prize first. However, it’s the other way around when we talk about relationships. Sometimes those who patiently pursue the journey and not competing with other people wins the prize. If you are confident that God will give you the Mr. or Ms. Right, there’s no need to be threatened.

Why it took me so long to confess? It is not because I am afraid to be rejected by you, but it is because I want to be the best version of myself first. I wanted to be the man that will love every bits of you. When the day comes that I will confess my love for you is I promise that I will be with you all throughout.

May 10, 2017May 11, 2017 by johnvicpogi

Faithful until the End

Every year is a moment to be hopeful and faithful. In each year that would pass by, it teaches us many lessons, on how to surpass every challenges, or to find joy in every circumstances that we have.

2016 was a roller coaster year for me. It’s a mixture of laughters and tears; of joys and pains; of ups and downs; and of gains and losses. This year has been so tough for me and it taught me on how to be strong and be brave.

From the loss of a friend, relatives and even my father; disappointments, shaky discernment, and failure of plans, I never knew how to endure every pain that it causes me. But during these moments, I realized that God never abandoned me. He made me feel that in every hurts I have, He is there to wipe every tears that is falling thru my eyes.

There are times that I feel I am broken and hopeless. I want to escape the situations that I have because in running away, I know somehow it can ease the pain I am suffering. However, running away is just so tiring for a simple reason that it changes nothing. The scenarios are still the same and all you have to do is to face it bravely.

Our brokenness is an opportunity for us to allow God to make us whole again. We know, in fact; that God is certain and faithful. He never forgets His promises to us. In every hopeless situation, there is a God that is in control. In every painful situation, there is a God that gives you comfort. In every loss that you suffered, there is a God who gives you more than what you deserve.
I cant imagine how I survived last year but if there’s one thing that I learned in my journey is to be more dependent on God rather than on myself. God knows what He is doing and all we have to do is to completely trust Him. 

January 29, 2017May 18, 2017 by johnvicpogi

#DiKaCheap Chronicles: An Open Letter to the Sisters I’ve Known

Dear Sisters,

I know for a fact that being in love is one of the most wonderful thing that we could experience. We know that it is through the love of God that we are born and that’s why we are also sent to love other people. However, with the fast pacing world that we have, we tend to be in a hurry of searching for love.

Though it is true that it is good to be in love, but may I remind you sisters, that you are meant to be pursued. Wouldn’t it be nice if your Prince charming will put all his effort just to find the precious gem which is YOU. Yes, you are worth of our sacrifices and hardships. So why initiate looking for Mr. Right if he is already searching for you? All you have to do is to relax, prepare and wait for the time when God has planned that you will meet your Prince charming.

You deserve more than the sweet online messages. You deserve more than the little efforts. You deserve more than the misleading acts. Sisters, you deserve the Best Man; the man who can stand up for his intentions and who is brave enough to ask permission from the people you love.

I am not telling you to not fall in love, but what I’m telling you is to wait for God’s timing for Him to reveal the Man that He prepared for you. Stop giving the boys a hint that you like them, because it is like giving them an opportunity to take advantage of your feelings and emotions. Let’s not cheapen the love that you want because you know in yourself that you are precious and you deserve more than than the temporary kiligs. Sisters, learn to guard your hearts as much as we are guarding ours, too. Let’s stop investing in the wrong love which will just result hurts and pains.

As your brother, I will never get tired of reminding you that you are worth pursuing and you deserved the best man that the Lord has prepared for you.

With Love,

JV Monzon

December 2, 2016July 17, 2017 by johnvicpogi

Liwanag sa Takipsilim

Sa tuwing umaga, masayang masaya akong panoorin ang pagsikat ng araw.

Tila ba nagbabadya ng isang bagong pag-asa.

Pag-asa na magiging maayos rin ang lahat.

Dahil alam ko na sa dulo ng bahaghari ay andun ang taong aking minahal.

Pero di ko alam na bago pala sumikat ang araw ay madilim muna ang aking madadatnan.

Na bago pala magkabahaghari ay kelangan pala munang umulan at bumagyo.

Patuloy akong naglakad sa mga kalye ng walang kasiguraduhan.

Patungo ako sa isang mundo ng walang ibang baon kundi ang pag-asa at mga pangarap.

Habang naglalakbay ay hindi ko namalayan ang mga sugat ko.

Sugat na nagsasabing itigil ko na ito.

Sugat na naging saksi ng lahat ng sakit na meron ako.

Sugat na nagsasabing wala akong mararating.

Ganito pala kasakit ang makita na ang lahat ng pinaghihirapan mo ay parang nawala ng bula.

Tila ba nag-iisa ka na lang dahil iniwan ka na rin ng mga taong minahal mo.

Sinubukan ko naman na mahalin kayo ng buong buo,

Pero iniwan nyo ako ng wasak na wasak.

Na ang bawat pinagsamahan natin ay tila nawalan na ng saysay.

Hindi ko alam kung ako ang nagkulang o sadyang hindi nyo lang ako gusto.

Ang bawat araw ay ang hirap huminga at nakakalunod na ang sakit.

Pero simula ng makilala kita ay nagkaroon ako ng bagong pag-asa.

Binuhay mo ulit ang naghihingalo kong puso.

Binuhay ako ng pagmamahal mo na patuloy na kumakapit kahit matagal na kong bumitaw.

Nang dahil sayo ay naramdaman ko ulit kung paano mahalin at magmahal.

Simula ng ibigay mo ang iyong sarili kahit wala ng natira sayo.

Na kahit paulit ulit akong tumakbo papalayo sayo ay patuloy mo kong hahabulin at susuyuin na bumalik ako sayo.

At kahit ilang beses kitang masaktan ay patuloy mo kong bibigyan ng pangalawang pagkakataon.

Handa kang kalimutan ang lahat dahil mahal mo ako at patuloy na mamahalin.

Na walang anumang hapdi at sakit ang kayang magpalayo sayo sakin.

Kahit ipako ka man sa krus ay hindi ka magsasawang gawin ito para lang maramdaman ko na ganito mo ko kamahal.

Kahit iwan man ako ng mundo ay mananatili kang nakatayo para sakin.

Dumating man ang takipsilim, ay patuloy na ikaw ang magiging liwanag ko.

Dahil alam ko sa gitna ng kadiliman ay hindi mo ako iniwan.

Kaya ngayon alam ko na kung bakit ako nanatili sa paglalakbay.

Na ang tanging rason kung bakit ako nakakatayo sa pagkakadapa ay dahil patuloy mo akong minamahal.

Kahit sugatan ako ay alam ko na pagdating sa huli ay hihilumin mo ang mga ito.

Kaya bakit ako matatakot ako na magmamahal kung merong ikaw na di tumigil sa pagmamahal sakin.

Na kahit ang sakit sakit na ay patuloy akong hihintayin at mamahalin.

October 19, 2016May 18, 2017 by johnvicpogi

Ikaw at Ako ay Iisa

​

Namulat ako sa isang mundo na tila napupuno ng kagandahan.

Kung saan normal lang ang isipin ang sarili.

Na ang tanging rason lang ay ang mabuhay para mapasaya ang sarili.

Ang bawat araw ay may lagi akong gustong patunayan.

Gusto kong ipakita na kaya ko ang lahat ng bagay kahit walang tulong ng iba.

Gagawin ko ang lahat upang makamit ang mga pangarap,

Kahit na ang katumbas nito ay makasakit ng iba.

Wala akong pakialam kung may matapakan man ako,

ang mahalaga ay makatugon ako sa tawag ng mundo.

Na maging matagumpay at sikat sa maraming tao.

Pero unti unting nagbago ang konsepto ko sa buhay na meron ako,

simula ng pumasok ako sa pinto ng tinatawag nyong pagmamahal.

Naranasan ko ang mabigyan ng importansya ang bawat ginagawa.

Na mahalin ka ng buong buo,

pero di ko inaakala na ito rin ang magpapawasak sakin.

Simula ng ibigay ko ang sarili ko ng buong buo, ngunit wala naman naibalik.

Na ang bawat patak ng luha ay dahil sa inyo.

Masakit pala ang tinatawag nyong pagmamahal.

Masakit dahil iniiwan ka lang.

Masakit dahil pinapaasa ka lang.

Masakit dahil paulit ulit kang paiikutin

Masakit dahil ikaw na lang ang nagmamahal.

Masakit dahil alam mong sa huli ay masusugatan at magiging talunan lang din sa huli.

Gusto ko na sanang sumuko pero nagbago ang lahat ng Ikaw at Ako ay naging Isa.

Pinag-isa ng pagibig nating dalawa.

Pinag-isa ng pangakong walang iwanan.

Pinag-isa ng mga pangarap na tila wala ng wakas.

Sayo ko naramdaman kung ano ang tunay na pagmamahal.

Pagmamahal na iibigin ka ng buong buo.

Pagmamahal na walang hinihintay na kapalit.

Pagmamahal na handang masaktan, magpatawad at kalimutan ang lahat.

Andyan ka palagi para punasan ang bawat luha ko,

Papasayahin mo ko kapag nalulungkot ako,

At hinding hindi ako iiwan kahit iwan ako ng mundo.

Kaya nung ako’y tinawag para magmahal ay agad akong sumagot.

Natatakot man ako at hindi alam ang gagawin ay sumagot ako.

Dahil sa mundong walang katiyakan, ikaw ang nag-iisang kasiguraduhan ko.

Dahil sayo ay natutunan kong magmamahal,

simula nung ipakita mo sakin sa pamamagitan ng Krus ng Pagmamahal.

Na sa bawat pagpako at paghagupit ay ramdam ko kung gano mo ko kamahal.

Na kahit ang sakit-sakit ay binibigay mo pa rin ang lahat.

Kaya bakit ako matatakot kung alam ko namang kasama kita.

Na merong isang ikaw na hindi ako iiwan.

Na merong isang ikaw na mamahalin ako ng buong buo.

Na merong isang ikaw na kahit kelan ay di ako bibiguin.

Kaya ngayon alam ko na kung pano magmahal simula nung Ikaw at Ako ay naging Isa.

October 17, 2016May 18, 2017 by johnvicpogi

Kung Sakali Man Maghintay Ako

​KUNG SAKALI MAN

Kung sakali man hanapin mo ako,

Ay wag ka nang mag-abala.

Matagal akong di magpapakita

Sapagkat napapagod na ako.

Na ang salitang pagod at ako ay naging isa.

Pagod na ako sa tanong na kamusta ka?

Pagkatapos ay may ipapagawa ka lang pala.

Pagod na ako sa salitang wag kang malalate,

Gayong ikaw ang palaging una sa listahan ng mga late.

Pagod na ako sa sinasabi mong maghousehold tayo,

Pero magiisang taon na ay wala pa rin.

Pagod na ako sa salitang naiintindihan kita

Pero ang totoo ay wala kang alam sa pinagdadaanan ko.

Hindi mo nga alam na nahihirapan ako sa pamilya ko.

Nahihirapan ako na laging meron kailangan patunayan.

Hindi ko alam kung paano nga ba maging isang mabuting anak,

Kapag ba may mataas na grades ka ba,

Kapag wala ka pa rin bang girlfriend o boyfriend,

O kapag lagi kang sumusunod sa lahat ng mga gusto nila.

Hindi ko alam kung ano pa bang dapat kong gawin,

Ang alam ko lang ay pagod na ako,

Pagod na pagod!

Naalala ko nung mga panahon na kailangan ko ng mga makakausap ay wala kayo.

Na pinaramdam nyo sakin na ang salitang “walang iwanan’ ay hindi pala totoo.

Gusto ko ng sumuko dahil alam kong nung una pa lang ay sinukuan nyo na ako.

Na ang tanging nakikita nyo na lang ay ang mga mali ko.

Ayaw ko na sa buhay na tila ba nakakulong ako sa rehas ng tinatawag nyong pagmamahal.

Kung tinatawag nyo itong pagmamahal ay bakit nakakasakal.

Ayaw ko na sa mga etiquette nyo na nagbabawal sakin na gawin ang mga gusto kong gawin.

Hindi na ako bata para ituro kung paano maglakad.

At hindi ako isang santo para maging kagaya ng gusto nyo.

Maglalakad ako sa direksyon na gusto kong daanan,

Madapa man at masugatan ako ay wag kang mag-alala dahil kaya ko na.

Kaya ko na ito. Kaya ko na ang buhay na wala ka, sila, kayong lahat.

Kaya kung sakali man na hanapin mo ako,

Wag kang mag-abala.

Dahil kaya ko kahit wala kayo.

MAGHIHINTAY AKO

Naaalala ko nung unang beses tayo ay magkita,

Kung saan tayong dalawa lang ang naroon,

Kasama ng mga bituin at buwan sa langit,

Na bawat minuto ay puro saya lang  ang meron.

Naalala ko nung unang beses kang tumakbo papalapit sakin

At dama ko ang pagmamahal mo sakin.

Naaalala ko nung unang beses na ikaw ay umiyak sakin

At pinunasan ko ang bawat luha na pumapatak sayo.

Ngunit bigla na lang nagbago ang lahat.

Simula nung maisip mo na di na ako sapat sayo.

Na ang binibigay ko na pagmamahal sayo ay kulang para maging masaya ka.

Na may iba pang tao na kaya kang pasayahin.

Masakit para sakin na ikaw ay lumayo.

At makawala sa mga yakap ko

At hindi malaman kung nasan ka.

Pero ano nga ba ang magagawa ko?

Kung ikaw na mismo ang bumitaw

Bumitaw sa mga pangakong ating pinangarap.

Bumitaw sa sinasabi mong pagmamahal

Bumitaw sa sinasabi mong di mo rin ako iiwan.

Kagaya ka rin ng iba na umalis matapos kong ibigay lahat ng meron ako.

Pero wag kang mag-alala dahil di pa ako bumibitaw.

Patuloy pa rin kitang mamahalin kahit ang sakit sakit na.

Hindi kailanman magbabago ang pagtingin ko sayo kahit ika’y malayo pa.

Naniniwala ako na meron pa rin “AKO” diyan sa puso mo.

Na kahit nahihirapan ako na makitang may pag-asa pa,

Ay mananatili na ikaw pa rin ang bukas ko.

Hindi matatapatan ng kahit anong sakit ang pagmamahal ko sayo.

Alam kong alam mong naghihintay ako sayo at patuloy na maghihintay

Maghihintay ako kahit parang walang hihintayin

Maghihintay ako kahit mukhang malabong ikaw ay bumalik.

Maghihintay ako kahit nakalimutan mo na ang mga pangako.

Maghihintay ako kahit alam kong sa huli matatalo na naman ako.

Maghihintay ako kasi mahal kita at hindi na magbabago yun.

October 2, 2016May 18, 2017 by johnvicpogi

Hindi mo pa Alam

​Sa bawat pangungusap na binubuo,

alam nating may kulang.

Hindi mo malaman kung anong tamang ilagay sa pusong nagtatanong.

Kung meron bang dapat aminin o dapat itago na lang.

Kung pwede na ba o pwede pa ba.

Marahil magulo lang talaga ang utak na mahilig magisip.

Pero ang tanging klaro ay ang laman ng aking puso.

Hindi nagbabago ang pangalan na tinatak sa pusong matagal ng naghintay.

Lumayo, mapalayo o di na magkita;

Mananatiling  nakatanaw ang mga matang tila ayaw ng kumurap.

Sa bawat titik ng iyong mga salita ay patuloy na pumipintig ang puso.

Hindi napapagod, hindi mapapagod,

kung ikaw naman ang nasa dulo.

Marahil hindi pa naman huli ito at marahil hindi ito ang una.

Pero palagi mong tandaan na hindi ka mawawala sa puso ko.

Siguro nga hindi mo pa alam na hindi marunong makalimot ang pusong umiibig.

Lumipas man ang maraming panahon, alam kong ikaw lang ang taong inilaan ng Diyos para sa akin.

September 19, 2016May 16, 2017 by johnvicpogi